Mourning My Mother: An Exploration of the Complex Emotions Elicited by the Terminal Illness of an Estranged Parent

In 2017, I learned that my estranged mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. This article explores the conflicting emotional responses I have had following the decision not to reconnect with my mother, not to provide care for her during her illness, and not to attend her funeral (when the t...

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Autor principal: Anne Bettina Pedersen
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Publicado: The Royal Danish Library 2019
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Acceso en línea:https://doaj.org/article/3eb2371be9084fcbb8ca92587d350e43
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spelling oai:doaj.org-article:3eb2371be9084fcbb8ca92587d350e432021-12-01T00:03:54ZMourning My Mother: An Exploration of the Complex Emotions Elicited by the Terminal Illness of an Estranged Parent10.7146/kkf.v28i2-3.1163122245-6937https://doaj.org/article/3eb2371be9084fcbb8ca92587d350e432019-09-01T00:00:00Zhttps://tidsskrift.dk/KKF/article/view/116312https://doaj.org/toc/2245-6937 In 2017, I learned that my estranged mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. This article explores the conflicting emotional responses I have had following the decision not to reconnect with my mother, not to provide care for her during her illness, and not to attend her funeral (when the time comes). This study combines my own creative explorations of child neglect, through  autophenomenography, with examinations of autobiographical accounts of mother-daughter relationships and literature on family estrangement and the loss of a parent. I suggest that I already ‘read’ myself as a motherless daughter, and that caring, (re)mourning, and (re)grieving for my mother would entail reentering a dysfunctional dyad and opening up past wounds. There appear to be few resources to draw on regarding how to navigate this particular emotional terrain. This article does not intend to provide a prescriptive model for this type of loss, but rather aims at opening up for queer modes of grieving and mourning and suggests that, in some cases, the denial of care for an estranged parent translates into self-care and self-preservation.  Anne Bettina PedersenThe Royal Danish LibraryarticleFamily estrangementterminal illnessmourningself-careautophenomenographySocial SciencesHDAENNBSVKvinder, Køn & Forskning, Vol 28, Iss 3-4 (2019)
institution DOAJ
collection DOAJ
language DA
EN
NB
SV
topic Family estrangement
terminal illness
mourning
self-care
autophenomenography
Social Sciences
H
spellingShingle Family estrangement
terminal illness
mourning
self-care
autophenomenography
Social Sciences
H
Anne Bettina Pedersen
Mourning My Mother: An Exploration of the Complex Emotions Elicited by the Terminal Illness of an Estranged Parent
description In 2017, I learned that my estranged mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. This article explores the conflicting emotional responses I have had following the decision not to reconnect with my mother, not to provide care for her during her illness, and not to attend her funeral (when the time comes). This study combines my own creative explorations of child neglect, through  autophenomenography, with examinations of autobiographical accounts of mother-daughter relationships and literature on family estrangement and the loss of a parent. I suggest that I already ‘read’ myself as a motherless daughter, and that caring, (re)mourning, and (re)grieving for my mother would entail reentering a dysfunctional dyad and opening up past wounds. There appear to be few resources to draw on regarding how to navigate this particular emotional terrain. This article does not intend to provide a prescriptive model for this type of loss, but rather aims at opening up for queer modes of grieving and mourning and suggests that, in some cases, the denial of care for an estranged parent translates into self-care and self-preservation. 
format article
author Anne Bettina Pedersen
author_facet Anne Bettina Pedersen
author_sort Anne Bettina Pedersen
title Mourning My Mother: An Exploration of the Complex Emotions Elicited by the Terminal Illness of an Estranged Parent
title_short Mourning My Mother: An Exploration of the Complex Emotions Elicited by the Terminal Illness of an Estranged Parent
title_full Mourning My Mother: An Exploration of the Complex Emotions Elicited by the Terminal Illness of an Estranged Parent
title_fullStr Mourning My Mother: An Exploration of the Complex Emotions Elicited by the Terminal Illness of an Estranged Parent
title_full_unstemmed Mourning My Mother: An Exploration of the Complex Emotions Elicited by the Terminal Illness of an Estranged Parent
title_sort mourning my mother: an exploration of the complex emotions elicited by the terminal illness of an estranged parent
publisher The Royal Danish Library
publishDate 2019
url https://doaj.org/article/3eb2371be9084fcbb8ca92587d350e43
work_keys_str_mv AT annebettinapedersen mourningmymotheranexplorationofthecomplexemotionselicitedbytheterminalillnessofanestrangedparent
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